So, last night while i was trying to fall asleep i decided to check out Mardi's blog. and she posted this post. it inspired me to do one that is similar.
For the past few months i have been in sort of a rut. an extremely anti-social rut. the only people i talked to were family. i never left my house, i rarely left my room and i just couldn't get the confidence to leave my room. i struggled with feeling insecure about weight gain, feeling unwanted by my friends, feeling like my life was not going the way i had always thought it would. i was scared to see my friends. i was scared to call them.
but i did.
and i am so happy i did. it helped me realize how much they mean to me.
abbie dumas. i haven't known this girl long at all but she is one of my best friends. she's the one person i can talk to about anything. i don't have to worry about annoying her, or being judged. i can tell her absolutely any secret. anything at all and she is there. she is so much fun to be around too, it's hard not to smile when i'm with abbie. but if there ever is a time i'm not smiling she will be right there to listen and make me feel better instantly. she is the most caring and creative person. i don't know what i would do without her.
blaaaaaaake. this kid. he is the definition of best friend. blake means A LOT to me. when i was in my awkward stage and i had no idea how to even speak to a boy he showed up. even though i was awkward he stuck around and quickly became my best friend. he helped me realize that it's okay to be myself that i can be the clumsy airhead that i am and i will be loved for it. and he helped me get over a lot of my insecurities, he's always been the one to tell me i'm beautiful, to let me know that if i'm having a bad hair day it doesn't matter because i'm still pretty. he changed my life, and i don't think he knows that.
tanner(: i still remember exactly how i met this kid, and i am so happy i did. this kid is too good to be true. honestly. my absolute favorite thing about tanner is that he knows how to make me happy. if i was ever sad tanner could easily make me happy just by acting like an idiot, it has never failed to make me feel better. he also gives the best hugs. out of everyone i know his are the best. and they always make you feel better. tanner is the kind of person that after i have just woken up, with no make up, looking terrible...if he comes over, i feel fine. because i know he doesn't mind. this kid is my absolute favorite, he is so sweet, and i don't think anyone can ever make me smile as much as he does.
mareassa lee mayo. has been there for everything. mareassa has been my friend for so long i don't even know how long. i can't even being to explain. mareassa is the one who will come to my house at 1 am with a carton of ice cream because i am sad. she is the girl that has been through the roughest times with me and never left my side. and she is also the most positive person i know. she goes through some really hard things but she can always pull through, and she can always find a reason to smile. she taught me a lot. and she is one of the truest best friends i have ever had.
i just needed that one day to get out of the house and see them. to visit mareassa, and hang out with everyone else. after that one day i wasn't feeling alone anymore. i wasn't feeling insecure anymore. i felt so much love, and so much acceptance, and i was happy.
these four are the people i am scared to lose. they have become such a big part of my life. when i tell them i love them i don't think they understand that i would do anything for them. when i tell them i miss them i don't think they know how much. and when i tell them that i don't want to lose them i don't think they realize how important they are to me.
